A memoir to remember - I’m Glad my Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

Growing up, everyone had a favourite TV show. For many, it was Disney shows such as Jessie or Hannah Montana. For others, it was Victorious or iCarly. These shows made many kids happy. For some, like myself, it became a ritual after school. I would return home, turn the TV on and watch my favourite shows. But although it made many kids happy around the world, the most important kids, the actual actors, were suffering, being overworked, abused… Jennette McCurdy’s brave memoir explains what it is growing up with an abusive mother as a child actor with fame and the responsibility of making money for an entire family.

Jennette’s memoir is divided into two parts, Before and After. Before her mother died and after she did. It’s a hard read, many topics are discussed that I advise for you to research about before. There is emotional, physical and mental abuse from her mother as well as a lot of discussions about ED, alcoholism and addiction. It’s a heavy book that is very well written. At some points it feels like you are watching the scene play out through Jennette’s eyes when she was just 6 years old when she started acting. In some points, you feel like you are watching her though your TV in your living room when she was in iCarly, and you even feel bad for having enjoyed her portrayal of the tomboy character she used to play; Sam. And sometimes I felt like I had to stop the audiobook because even’s Jennette’s telling of her own book was so hard to get through (emotionally).

This book was brilliant, shocking and most importantly: true. It establishes and shows a reality that many kids have to go through. Not only the child actors but also many kids that have to suffer parent’s abuse. The title, although hard for some to read, is brilliant, it’s funny, it’s real, and it’s shocking. Just like Jennette’s life. I have heard and seen people criticise the title, but I think if you don’t like it, you should not read the book because then it means that you cannot see the world like it is: sometimes cruel where sometimes parents are not as great as they are supposed to be.

The writing is easy to get through, it simplifies feelings and moments of her life that are not simple, that are complicated. It’s an exciting but sad read that is not trying to make you cry, but rather it is trying to tell a truth that many did not know. I wish so many more people read this book to understand what she went through and to comprehend what goes into an industry that many “normal” people do not know about.

Sadly, I have seen many news articles about this book focusing on the wrong parts. For example, Ariana Grande or the Hush letter they offered her at Nickelodeon. I wish people would see this book like it’s supposed to be read. About Jennette, about her mom, about her suffering, EDs about everything that she had and sometimes still has to live with. But sadly the internet focuses on the wrong parts and that really saddens me. I see this book as a love letter to her mother as well as the opposite. But I mostly see this book as a love letter to herself.

Somebody’s Daughter, a memoir - Ashley C. Ford

Ashley C. Ford’s writing translates her heartbreaking but inspiring story into Somebody’s Daughter. This memoir explores her relationships with her siblings, father and boys as well sexuality, growing up and poverty. But what really shines is Ashley’s story with her mother one so complicated that is hard to explain with just the read of the book.

Somebody’s daughter is divided into a few chapters, each exploring a different part of her life. Some would argue that the book lacks a narrative line, I would argue the same but, I don’t think in this book it was necessary all the way. The chapters feel like anecdotes but they end up linking with one common theme: Ashley’s story of growing up. Further on, it also explores vastly her sometimes abusive relationship with her mother but the love she still shares for her.

I found it fascinating how she was able to use her story with her mother not to villainize her but to describe her own character to the reader. You as a reader must interpret what Ashley writes and understand who Ashley is. She is not writing this to make her mother the villain in her story nor is she trying to excuse her actions, she is just showing you what and how things happened when she was growing up.

I also loved her relationship with her siblings. It was rendering and filled with absolute love. I could see when reading that she is completely in love with them and you can really see she would do everything for them.

Ashley of course is also going through the terrible part of her life when her father is in jail. She grows up knowing he is imprisoned but finds out later on why. The heartbreaking truth changes Ashley. She is in no way in a position to pardon his father for his wrongdoings but, she still loves him. This relationship even if it’s not the most prominent in the book, still touches Ashley in many ways. SHe misses her father, someone who has done something terrible, someone, who she looks up to, and she has to live with every day.

Of course, Ashley goes into her rape story, one that again, she is not trying to write about for you to feel sorry about her but to rather show the reader who Ashley is. It’s a hard read, wonderfully written and heartbreaking all in one.

Ashley is a writer, a journalist and you can really see her style shining through. The words glide over yor¡ur eyes in the most wonderful way even when she is telling the most heartbreaking parts of her story. Tears fall down your eyes when you read Ashley’s story as her words touch you in the warmest but most heartbreaking way.

This memoir shows you who Ashley C. Ford is, with her ups and mostly downs but she is describing the pivotal points in her growing up story. You explore along with young Ashley things that many women of colour and young girls have to go through because of the hardships of the world. She is teaching the readers that these things happen and she is showing us that they happened to her. I cannot wait to read what else Ashley publishes.

‘My Body’ has changed my perspective on Feminism - Emily Ratajkowski

I THINK EMILY RATAJKOWSKI HAS SURPRISED US ALL. THIS COLLECTION OF ESSAYS WRITTEN BY THE MODEL, ACTRESS AND NOW AUTHOR HAS REALLY CHANGED MY PRESCRIPTIVE ON WHAT FEMINISM CAN BE AND I WANTED TO SHARE THAT WITH YOU. THIS IS TRULY A VERY INTERESTING A BEAUTIFUL BOOK THAT I WOULD RECOMMEND TO BOTH WOMEN AND MEN.

This is a collection of 12 essays that touch on themes such as sexuality, sexual assault, anxiety, fame, money and many more. But they all surround one common theme and that is Emily’s body. It is a collection of life stories that really question women’s position in not only the Hollywood industry but also women’s position in a world where men get to tell us what to do so often. Emily does not only question her own position and her actions but also questions what feminism is and what it could be.

One of the first essays in the collection is Blurred Lines. When Emily was 21 her life completely changed once she was featured in the Blurred Lines music video with the singer Robin Thickle. There, she was groped as we later on discover. This essay is not to call out Thickle’s actions. This essay shows us how she felt in an environment that was supposed to be safe. She was surrounded by women, having fun and being comfortable. When this man, with virtually more power than her, made her uncomfortable. This essay explores the questioning her mind goes under. “What if i had yelled at Robin Thickle’s face and made a scene? stopped the shoot? maybe my big break never would’ve happened.” She also feels “ashamed” of how much fun she was having. She feels guilty but still wonders what if she had stopped the shoot. She would have not had her big break, and maybe she would have not been able to write and publish this book. It makes us question her feelings, her being ashamed. Would we feel the same way? Is it valid? Is this being a true feminist, letting the man get away with it? Is this being a feminist? Maybe that is not the questions she was asking herself at the moment. But that is what was going through my head. My answer was answered with the rest of the book: It’s not that simple.

The next essay, also one of my favourites, goes back in time. My Son, Sun is a powerful essay about consent and rape that she has to go through in high school. Not only that but we see her grow up and still be affected by this extreme violation of her body. It then talks about losing someone that has done wrong to you and how that can affect you. This might be one of the saddest essays in this collection as once again, I went into a massive questioning stage when I could not imagine myself in her situation. This book does not give you answers, but you have to find out yourself.

Woozies, further on the book, is another great example of Emily’s great writing. It describes how anxiety affects her and how it affects her relationship with her mother once she finds out she has cancer. I loved this essay and the ways it explored the different ways that anxiety can be lived by different people. I think this is a very different take of what the theme on her body was in the rest of the book. Her body is not only what people see but it also means the way Emily feels. Anxiety is dangerous and she shows us that. She goes into a massive stage of anxiety that causes her to develop problems with building a home and taking care of her relationships.

K-spa at first didn’t make me question too much. I even contemplated not finishing it. But, once I started seeing how cleverly Emily was exploring the central theme, I was hooked once again. Of course, this is the central theme of the book but this is an essay that explores it in a completely different light. We get to understand what Emily goes through every time she is seen as just a “manequin”. How she loses herself in a way when she almost can’t differentiate where she is when her body is working to sell clothes. What is privacy? What does it mean? Privacy to Emily at that time is not being completely alone but, to not be seen and watched by people when she is showing her body, when she is comfortable in her nakedness. I think this tied in the book fantastically, it showed how her body is not only in her modelling life but she also has to live with this constant fear of not being empowered every single day.

I loved this book and I think it’s a very important book that really wants people to think. Stop looking for easy laid down answers and start thinking about questions that you should be exploring. This might be the ultimate solution instead. Emily has done a fantastic job and I cannot wait to keep exploring this topic and questioning what my body is to me.